When We Struggle

I have started writing this post 3 times over the past week and concluded that I didn't have the words to express what I wanted to, but I think this is important enough that I'm going to comment even if I'm not the most eloquent person to do so.  I read recently about the number of people being diagnosed with depression going up exponentially. The issues of struggles with depression and anxiety are often taboo in faith communities, the very place that one should feel comfortable enough to open up about these struggles. It is this reason that I feel I need to speak out on this issue.

A little background first. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life. For many years I was to proud or embarrassed or hard headed to seek out help with these issues. I did finally have a panic attack that was so intense it sent me to the emergency room thinking I was having a heart attack. It was after this experience that I finally decided I needed to see a doctor to help with the physical issues that were causing the anxiety and depression, and also to see a counselor to explore the emotional baggage and to get some strategies for coping. This has helped me significantly over the last couple of years and I would tell anyone who is on the fence about getting help that it is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Now I want to make one thing clear mine is not a story of "overcoming" these issues but rather learning about how these issues are a part of how I am and dealing with them. 

To those reading this who are dealing with issues of depression or anxiety my heart goes with you. It is not an easy thing to deal with and I know it can feel lonely. I want to tell you that you are first off not alone there are may people of faith who deal with this issues.  You also need to know that dealing with these issues do not indicate any lack of faith, they do not mean that God has left you (no matter how much it may feel that way) and it does not mean that you are any less of a Christian or any less of a person. Some reading this might think those feeling are pretty out there. To those who feel that way I say they are not nearly as out there as you might think and I myself have felt each of them at sometime in my life. 

Dealing with depression and anxiety does not make you "defective." You are still a whole person even when you deal with these issues.  I know that sometimes these issues can make you feel that way and sometime the way others around you probably make you feel that way as well, if they mean to or not. 

It always amazes me the number of people who try to "cheer me up" when I'm dealing with the depression.  This may not be try for everyone but I know for me that always made me feel worse. What I need when I'm depressed is not another person to "fix" me but rather someone to walk the road with me, not judging me for what I'm going through.  I don't need to be fixed like I'm a broken lamp but rather I need a person to understand what I'm going through and to be there to hear me in those tough moments. 

Know that the next time you go through issues of depression or anxiety that you are in my prayers.

To my sisters and brothers who do not have these issues I implore you to be sensitive to these issues because chances are that you know someone who does deal with these issues. Be open to those around you without judgement and without trying to fix them.  Mostly walk the journey with all your brothers and sisters letting them be who they are.  Be a vehicle of God's love to those around you always.